Most people think stories are what happen in books or films. They don’t realise they’re living inside one right now, complete with a plot they never consciously chose, characters they never auditioned, and an ending they’re unconsciously scripting with every decision. The story running in someone’s head isn’t just commentary on their life. It’s the invisible architect designing it.
The Narrator Nobody Hired
We all have an internal narrator providing constant play-by-play commentary on our experiences. The problem? Most of us never interviewed this narrator, checked their credentials, or asked whose interests they’re really serving. They just started talking one day when we were about five, and we’ve been taking their word as gospel ever since.
The Autobiography You Didn’t Write
Consider how different people tell the same story. Sarah describes her career as “a series of lucky breaks and being in the right place at the right time.” Mark describes his identical trajectory as “recognising opportunities and having the courage to act on them.” Same facts, completely different narratives. Same outcomes, totally different futures being written.
Sarah’s story sets her up to wait passively for the next lucky break. Mark’s story positions him to actively create opportunities. Neither narrative is objectively true, but both become true through the actions they inspire.
The Three Story Templates Running Most Lives
The Victim Story: “Things Happen To Me”
This isn’t about people who’ve experienced genuine trauma or injustice. It’s about the narrative framework that positions someone as perpetually at the mercy of external forces. “My boss doesn’t appreciate me.” “The economy is rigged.” “I never get any luck.” The victim story keeps people scanning for evidence of powerlessness while blind to evidence of agency.
The victim narrator loves phrases like “I can’t because” and “If only they would” and “It’s not fair that.” This story feels safer because it removes responsibility, but it also removes possibility.
The Hero Story: “I Must Overcome Everything”
The hero narrative sounds more empowering, but it’s often just as limiting. Everything becomes a battle to be won, an obstacle to overcome, or a mountain to climb. Rest feels like failure. Receiving help feels like weakness. Life becomes an exhausting performance of constant achievement and self-reliance.
The hero narrator is addicted to struggle. When things go smoothly, it creates problems to solve. When support is offered, it politely declines. This story keeps people moving but rarely lets them arrive.
The Observer Story: “I Notice What’s Happening”
The observer narrative creates space between experience and interpretation. Instead of “this always happens to me” or “I must fix this immediately,” it offers “this is what’s happening right now” and “what does this situation require from me?”
This story doesn’t eliminate feeling or action. It just creates conscious choice about both.
When Stories Become Prophecies
The story someone tells about their past determines what they notice in their present, which shapes the future they create. Someone whose story is “relationships always end badly” will unconsciously sabotage good relationships to maintain narrative consistency. Someone whose story is “I’m not smart enough for success” will avoid opportunities that might challenge this identity.
The Plot Twist Nobody Sees Coming
Most people don’t realise they’re allowed to change their story. They think they’re historians reporting facts rather than storytellers choosing which facts to emphasise. The revelation that we can rewrite our narrative while keeping our history intact is often the first step toward a completely different future.
The Rewrite Revolution
Stories aren’t lies or positive thinking. They’re frameworks for making sense of experience. The question isn’t whether our story is true. The question is whether it’s useful.
Step One: Catch Your Current Narrator
Notice the running commentary in your head. What story is it telling about your capabilities, your relationships, your prospects? Is this narrator more like a supportive documentary maker or a drama-obsessed tabloid journalist?
Step Two: Identify Your Story Genre
Is your life story a tragedy, a comedy, an action adventure, or a mystery? Each genre creates different expectations about what happens next and what role you play in the plot.
The Six-Step Story Shift Process
1. Document Your Current Story
Write down the story you currently tell about your life, career, relationships, or any specific area you want to change. Notice recurring themes, the role you play, and how it typically ends.
2. Find the Hidden Benefits
Every story serves a purpose, even limiting ones. Victim stories provide safety from risk. Hero stories provide identity through struggle. Observer stories provide detachment from pain. What psychological payoff does your current story provide?
3. Collect Counter-Evidence
Look for experiences that don’t fit your current narrative. Times you were powerful when your story says you’re powerless. Times you received support when your story says you’re alone. Times you succeeded when your story says you fail.
4. Choose Your New Genre
Decide what kind of story would better serve your actual goals. A growth story where challenges become learning. An adventure story where uncertainty becomes exploration. A collaboration story where you’re part of something bigger.
5. Rewrite Key Scenes
Take three significant life events and rewrite them from your new narrative perspective. Not changing what happened, but changing what it means and what role you played in creating or responding to it.
6. Practice the New Narrator
For one week, consciously catch your old narrator and practice the new one. When the old story says “this always happens,” try “this is happening now, what can I learn?” When it says “I’m not capable,” try “I’m developing capacity.”
Your Next Move
Peace
Spend time identifying which story template currently dominates your internal narrative. Notice it without judgment, just with curiosity about how it shapes your choices.
Action
Choose one area of your life and write two different versions of your story about it. Compare how each version makes you feel about future possibilities.
Discussion
What story about yourself have you been telling that might be worth updating? Share your narrative archaeology and watch others recognise their own storytelling patterns.
The Plot You’re Actually Writing
The story you tell yourself today becomes the life you live tomorrow. The only question is whether you want to be a passive character in someone else’s plot or the conscious author of your own unfolding narrative.
The pen has always been in your hand. Time to start writing on purpose.
