Man Thought He Was Making Jokes — Accidentally Starts Existential Movement
A seemingly innocuous t-shirt designer known as The QR Poet has caused minor philosophical panic among wellness influencers, self-help authors, and two clinical psychologists after releasing the “Qriously Ironic” range, an apparel collection allegedly “too emotionally layered for casual wear.”
Part of his Qrious Threads label, it features phrases like “Morally Flexible,” “Rebelliously Obedient,” and “Existential Dread with Sparkles,” printed on Organic t-shirts in suspiciously well-kerned fonts. What initially appeared to be quirky streetwear has now been declared by some academics as “textile-based cognitive dissonance.”
“At first I thought it was just sarcastic,” said Dr. Marnie Fielding, a professor of cultural semiotics. “But then I noticed I’d been staring at his ‘I Could Out-Humble You Any Day’ shirt for 20 minutes and questioning the roots of my performative kindness. It’s not just ironic. It’s weaponised.”
The British designer, who speaks only in cryptic designs, lyrics and podcasts, denies any intention to emotionally destabilise wearers. “I’m just making clothes I wish existed,” he said. “If someone accidentally reevaluates their entire identity while putting on a t-shirt, that’s between them and their mirror.”
According to preliminary data from a totally real government agency, over 3,000 wearers of the Qriously Ironic range have reported sudden moments of insight while ordering coffee, pausing mid-scroll, or looking in shop windows.
Fashion analysts warn the range may mark a new trend called “Neurofashion“, in which garments don’t just say something—they ask something. The QR codes printed on some of the shirts are rumoured to lead not just to product pages, but to podcasts, poetry, songs and philosophical questions nobody ever actually asked for.
In response, several mindfulness influencers have demanded a licensing system for “existential apparel,” arguing the current climate of unchecked depth poses risks to emotionally unregulated consumers and the huge pyramid scheme of unregulated coaching out there.
Qrious Threads, meanwhile, shows no signs of slowing down.
“Next season we’re dropping a line called Post-Traumatic Growth Aesthetics,” the QR Poet hinted. “It’s for people who don’t need a therapist—just a slightly better t-shirt.”
